I'm Comcastic

Today feels like a slow, rainy fall day, so I'm going to take it easy and review some of my recent shopping experiences.

Despite the fact that I was a loyal Qwest customer, I'm now signed up with Comcast. Why? Qwest doen't offer internet service at my new address! Which is unbelievable. But, despite Comcast's reputation for poor customer service, the outfit did very well for me. So far, I'm a pleased customer. Nevermind that the company's slogan, "Comcastic," rhymes with spastic and bombastic.

I was in a hurry the other day at the grocery store, so I quickly bought a half-gallon of "All Natural," "Made With Real Oranges" Minute Maid. Well, make that "All Natural Flavors." Mostly it's corn juice, which I promptly poured down the drain. Yuck. I guess high fructose corn syrup is a "natural" drink, in the same way that fly soup is "natural."

During the same shopping trip, I noticed a publication on the stands called "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Palmistry." Yup.

I enjoy Flight of the Conchord's robot song, in which "it is the year 2000." Well, I recently picked up a used book called "The Year 2000," published in 1967. (It cost $9.95 for a hardback back then.) The book anticipates "increased Sensate (empirical, this-worldly, secular, humanistic, pragmatic, utilitarian, contractual, epicurean or hedonistic, and the like) cultures..." The authors couldn't have been more wrong about that one. That's what happens when "empirical, this-worldly, secular" is equated with pragmatic and hedonistic.

Cool Stuff

I won't often review products, but I'll make an exception and mention a few here.

Theracane: This is not a substitute for a professional massage, but it's as close as I've found. The Theracane is basically a curved stick with knobs on it. I've found it especially useful for massaging back muscles that I cannot reach by hand. An even cheaper tool is a sock tied with two tennis balls in it; I place this on the floor and roll by back on it, with my spine between the balls. (Note: I have no medical expertise; please consult a health professional and don't sue me.)

Wranglers: I've always been a Levis man. But I got tired of my jeans wearing out so fast. So I tried Wranglers, and, not only do they seem to last better, they fit better, too. They're not as tight where tightness is uncomfortable. And they're a bit less expensive, too.

Chocolate Syrup: I got tired of looking for hot fudge sauce, because practically all of it contains hydrogenated fat. So I made my own, using about equal parts of cocoa powder, water, and sugar, plus a little bit of butter (I used around a tablespoon for a half-cup of cocoa). Cook on medium heat till it boils for a few minutes. This made an excellent sauce for ice cream and chocolate milk. However, it was a bit sweet for me, so next time I'm going to use half the sugar.

Perry Mason: The first season of Perry Mason is out on DVD, and it's great. It's a bit unrealistic for the lawyer to keep representing people who get falsely accused of murder, but each episode stands on its own. Mason is a clever guy, and he seeks the truth. (I forgot to mention this show in my list of television favorites.)