You might be a spendthrift if...

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The Colorado Freedom Report--www.FreeColorado.com

You might be a spendthrift if...

by Linn and Ari Armstrong

The following article was originally published by Grand Junction Free Press on October 3, 2005.

A spendthrift is somebody who spends money foolishly or recklessly. Unfortunately, the term applies to those in the state legislature who approved of wasteful spending during previous years. In less than a month, the same politicians will ask us to fork over an estimated $3.743 billion more in tax dollars over five years, even though state spending is already expected to increase substantially over that period.

So in the spirit of country-comedian Jeff Foxworthy, we describe some ways to know whether you're a spendthrift.

You might be a spendthrift if...

You spent over $2,000 state tax dollars to buy Viagra and other sex drugs for registered sex offenders, as the state's Medicaid program did.

You approved of a $5,000 grant to an artist based partly on her submitted work, "12 Dildos on Hooks." That describes a grant issued by the Colorado Council on the Arts.

If you spent $44,100 of state tax dollars on a program for public high school students that featured antiwar videos, a self-described "radical feminist" theory of orgasms, and poems about self-mutilation and lesbian sheep, you might be a spendthrift. (That was also an arts grant.)

You might be a spendthrift if you approved $10,400 for a documentary about the "Big Blue Bear" statue or $19,750 for video-game development.

You might be spendthrift if you spent nearly a million dollars to subsidize a tourist railroad.

You might be a spendthrift if you approved corporate-welfare grants for Kodak ($144,000), Munich Air Service ($200,000), Prologis Inc. ($400,000), Red Robin Gourmet Burgers Inc. ($97,200), Stanley Aviation Corporation ($420,000), Viaero Wireless ($187,500), DoubleClick Inc. ($509,000), Echostar ($450,000), and Mexicana Airlines ($500,000), to name a few of the grants approved by the Economic Development Commission.

You might be a spendthrift if you spent $106,473 to strap children to "papoose bords" during dental visits.

You might be a spendthrift if you spent $54,094 on condoms, some of which were not highly rated.

You might be a spendthrift if you require Colorado agencies to purchase expensive, poor-quality furniture from prison factories.

You might be a spendthrift if you spent tax dollars to subsidize booze for the University of Colorado, parties for CU regents, Ward Churchill's salary. (Churchill is the unqualified professor currently under review for plagiarism who compared American victims of the 9/11 attacks to a Nazi.)

You might be a spendthrift if, like the governor, you spent $3.75 million on an airplane.

You might be a spendthrift if you buy office chairs that cost over $1,000 each or an oil change for $572.

You might be a spendthrift if you bought a $200 million computer system that didn't work and required millions more in repairs.

Finally, you might be a spendthrift if you claim a "budget cut" consists of increased spending.

The Colorado Freedom Report--www.FreeColorado.com