Biff Baker Campaign: "How To Speak Heflese"

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Biff Baker Campaign: "How To Speak Heflese"

BIFF BAKER FOR CONGRESS
"HONOR... COURAGE... INTEGRITY"
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: October 28, 2002
CONTACT: Biff Baker
PHONE: (719) 532-1767
EMAIL: comments@biff1.us
WEB: http://www.biff1.org/

HOW TO SPEAK HEFLESE

PART 1 OF 4

The following is a semi-satirical interpretation of how to read the candidate surveys that Joel Hefley has returned to various media outlets.

We start with Citizens' Project. This one was difficult as Hefley didn't answer it, but we can extrapolate from his past record.

Question: Why are you running for office?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He's a career politician. It's what he does for a living. Otherwise he'd be an unemployed cartoonist.

Question: What are your top three legislative priorities?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He has no priorities, but we don't know that since he is almost never in his district.

Question: What process would you use in determining items, for which to reduce, cut or allocate additional funding under budget review?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: What's a spending cut? He voted for a 9% budget increase last year, and more increases are to come. Meanwhile the debt has grown by $4 trillion since he started in Washington 8 terms ago.

Question: What role, if any, should government have in ensuring the availability of housing for families earning median or lower income?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He voted to increase the HUD budget year after year, pouring federal tax dollars down yet another hole for little if any results.

Question: What do you think is the most effective anti-crime measure for our community and how would you support it?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He spends all of his time in Washington D.C. anymore so he hasn't any idea, and local issues should not be federal measures anyway.

Question: What is an appropriate expression of religion in a public space?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He was too busy praying in Congress to hear the question.

Question: How can public education best accommodate non-English speaking students?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: "No se."

Question: What are your top three concerns for public education?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He voted for more funding for the Department of Education, so he favors federal control of local schools.

Question: What, if any, additional healthcare for the uninsured or underinsured should the state provide?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He has continually voted to cut medical benefits for seniors and veterans. He doesn't believe that we should take care of the veterans that put their lives on the line for the rest of us.

Question: Once in office, what interaction will you promote with your constituents?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He hasn't been available to his constituents before, and he was one of the last Congressmen to get email, so interaction with his constituents is not a priority, as usual.

SUMMARY: Joel Hefley is out of touch with his constituents, for more and more government and less and less individual choice, and in general is far past his time. Change is well overdue.

NEXT: The Rocky Mountain News Survey. Hefley actually answered this one... stay tuned!


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: November 2, 2002

Biff would like to extend his sympathies to the Hefley family in their time of personal crisis. He hopes that the Hefleys come through this situation well as a family.

A BIFFERENT VIEW: HOW TO SPEAK HEFLESE -- PART 2 OF 4

The following is the second in a series of semi-satirical interpretations of the candidate surveys that Joel Hefley has returned to various media outlets.

This one is from the Rocky Mountain News. Hefley actually answered it. What a concept!

Question: DIA: Is the federal government moving quickly enough to improve security at Denver International and other airports? Are the proposed plans adequate?

Heflese: No, but we are probably moving as fast as we can to implement new security procedures.

Interpretation: He wants more government, more police state, more federalization of the economy, while denying the people the right to defend themselves at 35,000 feet.

Question: Economy: What should be done to improve the U.S. economy?

Heflese: We should enact fair trade and energy policies, as well as enact and enforce corporate accountability standards and policies that restore faith in the markets.

Interpretation: He wants import tariffs, which is government interfering in the free market. He wants more government to patrol corporations (a leftist Green position!), which also interferes with the free market. In short, he want to have government interfere even more with the free market, while overlooking the obvious fact that it was government interference that causes economic downturns in the first place. A better answer is to repeal the laws that prevent small businesses from getting going and being successful, and repealing income taxes so that consumers will have more money to spend in their wallets.

Question: Investments: How would you protect 401(k) investments and hold corporate executives accountable?

Heflese: We would be off to a good start if the Senate would act on the Pension Security Act of 2002, which the House passed on April 11. Corporate executives who falsify reports and steal from investors and employees should be criminally prosecuted and sent to jail.

Interpretation: He wants more government again. PSA2002 would freeze pension funds in accounts controlled by the corporations instead of allowing the investors to make their own choices. Further, the biggest falsifier of reports, and the biggest thief from investors and employees is the US government!

Question: Law: If you could pass or repeal one law in 2003, what would it be?

Heflese: I'd repeal the present tax code and replace it with either flat tax or a sales tax.

Interpretation: He wants to replace one oppression with another. That isn't the small government that he claims to represent as a Republican.

Question: Summary: Why should voters vote for you?

Heflese: I understand the needs and views of the people of the 5th District and am capable of continuing to meet and fulfill those needs. I have a long record of helping people in my district and would like to continue to serve.

Interpretation: The people have blindly voted for him the last 8 times. He wants to secure that tax-free Congressional pension. He is trying to complete in a 9th term what he couldn't get done in 3 terms like he originally promised. He wants to stay in D.C. and avoid his constituents for 2 more years.

Question: Has the Bush administration violated the rights of U.S. citizens suspected of terrorist ties?

Heflese: No.

Interpretation: He must support his President, even if he is dead wrong.

Question: Do you support expanding school voucher programs?

Heflese: Yes.

Interpretation: He supports vouchers to expand government control. Biff supports vouchers to expand parental choice. That's a big difference!

Question: Would you expand stem cell research beyond the limits imposed by President Bush?

Heflese: No.

Interpretation: He wants government to control science.

Question: Do you support the missile defense program?

Heflese: Yes.

Interpretation: He must support the party line like a parrot repeating what is said to him. However, Biff has been a part of that program and knows it inside out.

Question: Should Roe v. Wade be overturned?

Heflese: Yes.

Interpretation: He may not be anti-abortion, but only uninformed, which is pretty typical of conservatives on this issue. He probably hasn't read it. Despite the abortion issue, it is a fine treatise on the Fourth Amendment and the Bill of Rights. See Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973) for more details.

Question: Do you believe in the death penalty?

Heflese: Yes.

Interpretation: He is inconsistent in his beliefs. He believes that we can kill people at the end of their life but not at the beginning. If he were truly pro-life we would be against both abortion and the death penalty. He is anti-abortion only for political purposes, meaning he has no principles.

Question: Do you support Amendment 31?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: "No se."

Question: Do you support Amendment 27?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He doesn't know if he can support campaign finance reform because he isn't sure how he will benefit under the proposal. He probably hasn't read it.

Question: Do you support Amendment 28?

Heflese: No.

Interpretation: He doesn't like it because it might produce a higher turnout, which means he could lose his incumbency. Biff doesn't like it because he is concerned about voting fraud. Another big difference!

Question: Do you support Amendment 29?

Heflese: No.

Interpretation: He doesn't want to have to petition onto the ballot, protecting his incumbency. Biff doesn't like it because he wants to see publicly funded primaries go away. Again, another big difference!

Question: Do you support Amendment 30?

Heflese: No.

Interpretation: Same reasons as Amendment 28.

Question: Do you support Referendum E?

Heflese: No.

Interpretation: He likes to ignore the Hispanic vote.

Question: Should President Bush get congressional approval to wage war with Iraq?

Heflese: Yes.

Interpretation: He voted for it in line with the party supporting his President. Squawk, squawk. Biff supports Congressional approval only if it is an actual Declaration of War. Biff knows what war is like on the front lines. Hefley does not. Yet another big difference!

Question: Should citizens be given the choice to manage their own private Social Security account?

Heflese: Yes.

Interpretation: Hefley wants to see the system have some stock investment. But Biff wants to see it grandfathered out of existence with annual opt-out de-enrollments to let the people truly manage their own retirement efforts. Still another big difference!

Question: Should President Bush's tax cuts be postponed because of the budget downturn?

Heflese: No.

Interpretation: Hefley is for those tax cuts and wants to make them permanent. But he voted for Bush Sr.'s 1990 tax increase. He should make up his mind. Biff wants to see income taxes repealed entirely. It's the people's money.

Question: Is the President right to refuse to negotiate with PLO President Yasser Arafat?

Heflese: Yes.

Interpretation: Squawk, squawk. Peace is first achieved through negotiation and diplomacy. Biff has been a diplomat, so he knows how that process works. Hefley hasn't, so he doesn't.

Question: Should the President put price caps on drugs for seniors in the Medicare program?

Heflese: No.

Interpretation: Hefley get free medical care for life, so he hasn't any idea about fixed incomes and high medication costs for seniors. Biff wants to remove the regulatory web that makes the costs high, which will drop costs and make medications affordable. It's about spending power, another big difference!

Question: Should same-sex couples be allowed to adopt children?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: Hefley doesn't understand the concept of family in the 21st century, and how it extends to both kith and kin.

Question: Should the federal government pay reparations to descendants of slaves?

Heflese: No.

Interpretation: Hefley actually has this one right, and Biff is in complete agreement.

SUMMARY: This survey was the most comprehensive of them all, but once again, Hefley is out of touch, parroting the party line, and more concerned about his own power and in general has been able to fool the voters into thinking he knows how to represent them. Do we want this type of self-servience to be our representative? We would hope not.

NEXT: The Denver Post Survey. Another Hefley no-show... stay tuned!


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: November 2, 2002

A BIFFERENT VIEW: HOW TO SPEAK HEFLESE -- PART 3 OF 4

The following is the third in a series of semi-satirical interpretations of the candidate surveys that Joel Hefley has returned to various media outlets.

This one is from the Denver Post. Once again Hefley was a no-show.

Question: What are the top priorities for the coming term?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He wants to stay re-elected.

Question: What is the appropriate balance between preservation and energy exploration on public lands in the West?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He supports drilling for more oil in ANWR, but is unwilling to direct the Department of Energy to promote non-petroleum and renewable sources of energy such as hydroelectric, solar and wind.

Question: Should America tighten its borders, and how can that be done? Should the U.S. change its immigration policies, and how so?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He supports xenophobia one day and ignores it the next. He is generally anti-immigration.

Question: Does protecting our homeland require a sacrifice of our civil liberties?

Heflese: NO ANSWER

Interpretation: He voted for the USA PATRIOT Act, the Counterterrorism Act of 1994, and every other act that has come up in his time that restricts civil liberties in the name of preserving the State. In doing so he undermines the Bill of Rights and the Constitution, which violates the oath he took to protect and defend those same documents.

SUMMARY: Hefley is pro-oil, pro-big government, anti-Constitution, anti-Freedom, and self-serving. And we call this guy our representative?

NEXT: The Gazette Survey. We conclude this series with the Main Event... stay tuned!


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: November 4, 2002

A BIFFERENT VIEW: HOW TO SPEAK HEFLESE -- PART 4 OF 4

The following is the conclusion of our series of semi-satirical interpretations of the candidate surveys that Joel Hefley has returned to various media outlets.

And now, our feature presentation...

We conclude this series with the candidate survey from the Colorado Springs Gazette.

Question: What steps are needed to strengthen national defense, and how should the United States use its force around the world?

Heflese: We need to improve our military recruiting and retention rates and provide our service men and women with the best training and equipment to protect them in international conflicts. Also, the U.S. must coordinate its activities to respond to international crises diplomatically. By helping nations respond to conflicts in their region, the U.S. can better stand as a world leader.

Interpretation: He still sees the military as the world cop. That is not the role of the Department of Defense. Our borders should come first, and the rest of the world will do better without our interventionism and interference. Hefley cannot see that we need to defend, not offend. It's ironic that he wants better training when he opposed Air Force Academy training flights over the house he doesn't live in Colorado Springs. So he wants training, but not when it inconveniences or annoys him. Such selfishness!

Question: What can you as a U.S. representative do to help the economy of Colorado, and what are state residents' most pressing needs in Congress?

Heflese: The economy will be revived if we pass fair trade and energy policies, as well as enact and enforce corporate accountability standards and policies that restore faith in the markets. We also need to reform the tax system to make it more equitable fro low- and middle-income families. If re-elected, I will work to pass legislation that strengthens U.S. borders, improves the training and readiness of our military troops, and incorporates a voluntary affordable prescription drug benefit into Medicare.

Interpretation: Where have we seen this before? Oh yes, the first sentence is exactly what he told the Rocky Mountain News! Let's cut and paste, shall we? To reiterate, Hefley doesn't realize that consumer spending and confidence is what drives the economy, not corporate profits. Pennies-per-share dividends not paid to stockholders don't improve spending power. Cash in the wallet does. Hefley also wants more government to patrol the borders and to expand Medicare on the backs of hard-working citizens. However, those issues are not Colorado-specific, showing once again just how out of touch with his constituents he truly is.

SUMMARY: Hefley wants to send our troops everywhere around the globe, forsaking their primary role, which is to defend this country first and foremost. He wants to send our family members, neighbors, and friends off to possibly die in some foreign nation where we really don't belong. Hefley has never put on the uniform and never been on the front lines, so he really doesn't know what our military has to deal with. They are but political pawns to exploit and cast away when he needs to. Hefley also wants to benefit corporate interests instead of the consumers by keeping money out of their wallets, favoring corporate welfare, tariffs, and a continued dependence on Big Oil.

CONCLUSION: Joel Hefley is nothing more than a Republican parrot, squawking the party line time and time again, offering no substance and nothing new. He's had 8 terms to accomplish what he set out to do in three. His deadline has passed, and he didn't get the job done. It's past time to fire the unproductive employee. Vote for a true leader. Vote for Biff Baker, LTC USA (Ret.), diplomat, professor, and father. He knows leadership. He knows the military. He knows quality. He knows Colorado.

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